Ball in a Cup

by Brian Steveson

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released December 18, 2013


tags: comedy rap Eugene



Brian Steveson Eugene, Oregon

Young University of Oregon film student who loves cartoons. Sometimes I write couplets and recite them over beats.

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Track Name: Nautical Intro
Are ya ready kids??? AYE-AYE CAPTAIN! I can’t heaaaarrr you!!! AYE AYE CAPTAIN

What is this adventure you’re about to embark? BRIAN’S MIXTAPE!
So put on your flippers, cause it’s time to start! BRIAN’S MIXTAPE!
By the time that we’re done, we will hope you’ll agree. BRIAN’S MIXTAPE!
That your world has been filled with laughter and glee. BRIAN’S MIXTAPE!



Track Name: What's Up, Doc?
Now let us step aside from raps about drug money
Cause here’s ya boii Brian to rap about Bugs Bunny
Walk into the club like “Eh, What’s Up Doc?”
Cause I’m the looniest of Looney Tunes in case anyone forgot?
Thought I’d give it a shot like my name was Elmer Fudd and I’ll be
Spitting sicker lines than when Spongebob caught the suds. Because
Growing up with channels like Nick or Cartoon Network was
the right amount of material for me to call myself an expert

I am so funny like Doug and Speedy like Gonzales, you don’t
need to be Mr. Know it All to agree that my rhyming’s flawless
Funny looking kid who’s flying high, Dumbo
I’m such a huge deal, you’d think my belt was set to Wumbo.
Looking back as a rugrat, watching Tom and Jerry back when the
symphonies were silly and the melodies were merry.
From the time I woke to going to sleep bed ready
it was Johnny Bravo, Dexter’s Lab and Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy

Asking “What would Scooby Doo?” in scary situation
when I’m not around my precious animated illustrations
When I was a kid, watching cartoons was all I’d do
I would alienate myself, they’d call me the Great Gazoo
Back when everyone idolized people playing basketball
All of my heroes were a little bit more theatrical
Folks like Mel Blanc, Tom Kenny and Rob Paulsen
were just some of the people who made my childhood freakin’ awesome.

Back in 4th grade I built my own cartoon cavalcade
filled with short comics some quick draws like McGraw made.
Songs about conjunctions and the magic number three
helped me shape myself into the man I came to be
Cartoons were just enough to wake me up on a Saturday
Or spending all my Sundays watching my sister’s favorite anime
My passion seems apparent, you don’t need to be a braniac
Don’t call me Freakazoid. You can call me Animaniac.

Since I was a baby watching Lion King and Toy Story
Everything I watched brought me happy happy joy joy
Good feelings from Friz Frieling and a jones for Chuck Jones
Screaming YABBA DABBA DOO after watching all the Flintstones.
Spongebob merchandise, you know I gotta have it
And you know my favorite movie will be Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Nobody could keep me from my episodic joke-a-thons
I had to catch em all, livin’ life like Pokemon

But now I’m all grown up, so life has been a little strange
I’m still the same Brian, and only with a bit of change
With college and adulthood, I’ve been kinda rushed and busy
But you know that in my free time, I feel inclined to watch some Disney
It’s just the way it’s been, and I don’t intend to stop it soon
I’ll be eighty years old, and still be watching cartoons
Loosing all my hair and reciting old Spongebob quotes
until my heart stops and I’m saying “That’s all folks.”
Track Name: Burrito Boy
Chorus {Heems, Kool A.D)
You should never argue with a lalalalala
You outghta know by now
You should never argue with a crazy mamamahahwhawa
You oughta know ababaoughta
You should never argue with a crazy mamamamama
You oughta know by now wabababaohawaaha
You should never argue with a crazy wabrabraba

Here comes the BOOM when I’m holding the mike.
Hope you’ve brought enough matches, cause now I’m about to ignite
with my hip hop juice, Rapper’s Sunny Delight
make these haters too tired like when I’m riding my bike.
Just an up and comer with rhymes less sweet than the blackberries
Fire on the notepad, as if told by Ray Bradbury
What I spit is boggling, so I advise you to beware
ave your mind going in circles, like you’re hiding from a Seabear
Dental care brace yourselves for my vicious rap attack
Or watch as I get a little detailed with my Snapchat
Poppin’ in my mixtape, and it’s guaranteed to titillate
Make you jumpin up and down, you’re gonna need some nipple tape.
Don’t try to compete, I’ll beat you by far
Cause unlike you, I get around like 2 Pi r
Keep it going with the wordplay cause I’ll never say enough
Like getting high with the Ghostbusters, that’s a way to Stay Puft (stay puffed)
I’m like that sometimes I mean ridiculous
My flow’s like Reaganomics in the way it’s trickling
The stupidest rapper, I’ll never be Kanye
Show excitement when the pie’s done, pecan YAY!
All I need in life is love and some Burrito Boy
Take the latter from me and I’m certain there will be no joy
for you or anyone, I would sure hate to foresee a
future where I can’t wrap stuff inside a tortilla
I apologize if what I’m saying’s repetitious
But I really feel the need to say that Mexican food’s delicious
.Acting like you don’t but you know you really wanna
Cause once I take a bite, I’ve reached frijole nirvana.
Doing raps on what I love or not, ain’t hard to take a pick
I sing about food like my name was Al Yankovic
It’s time I wake up, cause I know I’ve been a fool
But you should also realize that there’s no Brian, only Zuul
Track Name: Chaos Theory (feat. Jeff Goldblum, Jack Nasty & CG)
[Jeff Goldblum] Hehehehe, see now I am now by myself, uh, uh talking to my self, that's Chaos Theory

When all is quaint, the mood is silent
But then it ain’t, it’s rude and violent
Don’t run and hide, come have some fun
In 5 4 321.

Verse 1:
Nobody up in space can hear you scream
But as long as we’re here, let’s keep blasting Queen
Don’t stop me now if there’s a dragon attack or
we’ve run out of peanut butter to spread on our Ritz cracker
I’m a spit master, good to be the king
Poofy hair to prom court, wouldn’t change a thing
Those dog days are over, now I gotta let it be
I gotta listen to the things all those people said to me
They said my sense of humor put a smile on their face
Now I’m bout to go crazy all over the place
Obliterate the naysayers, blown to smithereens
Beat them make them shaken up, like they were tambourines
Being realistic, I don’t really want to brawl
Unless of course its Smash Bros, then I’ll challenge all.
Tell me I’m a dummy, say I’m idiotic
but you’ll be saying nothing when things go chaotic

VERSE 2 (Jack Nasty)

Colder than Cobie Smulders giving you the cold shoulder
Bolder than a yodeler who went and turned soldier
I’ll leave you sobbin and hobblin like a cripple hob goblin
Rob you of your mojo, your dignity and your hemoglobin
Nah, I don’t steal, I even think Jack Sparrows wack
When it comes to my name, gotta go Jack Kerouac
Known for my bone, much like a Marowak
I’ll punch you in the nude, yeah it’s a bare attack

I live up to my name- call me Ash Ketchum.
I can draw a crowd, you can barely sketch ‘em
Saying Jack Nasty is great is a redundancy
I outgun the rest as any son of one can see
My rhymes are sick, and they’re getting contagious
Everyones bringin it, what they’re spittin’s outrageous
I’ve got an ego that would make Tarantino jealous
Cross runner; rockin short shorts like them Reno fellas

I don’t believe in God, but I still believe in Yeezus
Him n’ Kim go together like the contents of a Reeses
Got cards up my sleeve and they’re all Yu-Gi-Oh
I’m spitting thick raps like I was spitting loogies, yo.
Don’t worry holmes, I know I got a wacky flow,
Word domination, don’t even try and stop me bro.
So you should sit back and do as you’re told
So just sit back and watch the chaos unfold

[Jeff Goldblum laughs]

Verse 3 (CG):

I once heard someones say the world was chaotic
Then i thought that person just, might need a tonic
Just grab a glass, make a drink, and kick up your feet
and listen as i glisten as i rap this real treat
My initials are CG and this is a sick beat (is it?)

I'm just kidding, i'm not that good
But if you, don't believe that then maybe I should
Explain, that i am most likely misunderstood,
Because, when i wake up, I always have some morning wood.

But this is Eugene, this is the west coast,
this is the place that i absolutely love the most.
So I propose a toast, to the world, for being so cool
for when you look from outer space it looks like a jewel.
So heres the golden rule, the moral you could say,
We only have one earth so lets save it for another day.

Dude i want a sandwich.

I rest my case, it’s crystal clear
That there’s nothing but insanity up in here
Me Colton and Jack here to rock this joint
Public enemy number one when we bring the noise

Not as beastie as the boys but still ch-check it out
What us three Mr. North boys are all about
So strap on your seatbelts, it’s about to go down
It was serenity then but it’s apocalypse now

[Jeff Goldblum] I'm simply saying that life, uh, finds a way
Track Name: Fox in Socks
Don’t call it a comeback, as a matter of fact
Don’t even call it a rap. Don’t make me take off my hat
So what if I don’t look good in it, My scalp is still warm
Bet you never heard a rap from this nitwit before

Altogether a creative and passionate guy
And you’ll be calling R. Kelly when you believe I can fly
In the air like Travolta doing crazy pilot tricks, son
Write a novel about orange juice, call that Pulp Fiction

Need that vitamin C cause I got Saturday Night Fever
Crank it like a chainsaw, OSU Beavers
Yeah Football. Something I don’t really understand
Didn’t play a lot of sports, but I was in the pep band

So hard on the beat, so I guess I trump it (trumpet)
Go stupid on the track like you were hearing Forrest Gump spit
Fox in socks killen ‘em with some green eggs and ham
Crazy mother smucker when I bring you the jam
Track Name: Love and Romance
Love on everyone with a heart gigantic
But I’m not Wally Palmar, I’ve never been a Romantic
What do you like about me? I think you’re enchanted
I’ll be the Matt, you be Luisa. That’d be Fantastick

Love is theatrical, my life is more practical
the movies tell lies instead of being more factual
Saying girls like a funny guy but, it’s such a great quality
But they’re just like the Oscars, never pick the comedy
never got the slow dance that I patiently awaited
But you should meet my girlfriend from the fake world I created
Oh those chances to talk to girls I wish I hadn’t missed
There are more Harry Potter books than girls I’ve kissed

It’s the things that keep me up at night, tossing and turning
I could have given up, but I know I’m still learning
Plenty of fish in the sea, that way everyone wins
But what they didn’t say is you need to know how to swim.

Looking for my Ariel, can’t say that I’ve found her
Can’t be Prince Eric, cause I look more like Flounder
I’ve put out a mixtape, plus I’m bilingual
But when I talk to a girl I like, I’m reminded why I’m single

I wish that I could talk to you but I just lack the confidence
But when I do actually talk, I just mumble all the consonants
Sweaty armpits then here come the neurotic laughs
That’s why you hear me instead of Kid Cudi’s melodic raps

Rewriting Lady Gaga just seems to be my speciality
First about geometry, now about my chemistry
See what I just did, that’s a double entendre
The only number I’ve ever gotten was Avogadro’s

To my partners in the past, I wish I could repair
the bumps while dating where it seemed I didn’t care
I’m not a perfect person, wanna do the best I can
But being who I am today wasn’t part of the plan

She said it wasn’t me that she likes
She said she wanna just be friends
And leave me at the end of the night
All alone

Well that’s how it is, lo que bailado, bailado
Whatever happens will happen, just seems to be my motto
I just look at things differently, tomato tomato
Why don’t I just come to my senses, Desperado

I wanna be sincere, wanna show off the true me
and sit with someone special and watch our favorite movies
I’m just another Brian singing straight from the heart.
Oh, to go back some years and try to restart

We all deserve romance, it fills up our empty spaces
The completion of the soul, and puts smiles on our faces
But listen to me now, I didn’t mean to babble
My princess does exist, she’s just in another castle
Track Name: El Chavo
Born in 94, the year of Illmatic
Acted like a child and you know I’m still at it
It’s now occurred to me that I’ve developed a habit
Of annoying every living soul on this whole planet
We all need to grow up, gotta face rejection
‘cause not everyone wants to listen to my Elmer Fudd impression

It was funny back in middle school, but now we’re adults
Try that stuff now, and alienation is the result
My generation was a teenage wasteland
who won’t get fooled again, they all stick to the same plan
Live a good life and leave that child stuff behind
Our interests from the past have done nothing but decline

It makes me really sad to let go of being young
Back when life was more easy and the simple things were fun
It was the best back then, as far as I’m concerned
Imagination was alive, like the toys when your back was turned
Nowadays, everything is emotionally draining
So now no one will admit that these sounds are entertaining

That wasn’t so bad, because that’s what life was like
Listening to Raffi and learning to ride a bike
Plotting out who we would be, just sounded too exciting
But now it’s really happening, it’s just been really frightening.
It used to be a slow change now it’s changing constantly
I’ve realized that growing up that I really hate Monopoly

Disney as a kid, I never watched it being critical
But now as we see them, we get super analytical
We thought they they were magical and cool and cinematic
But looking from a different lens, they are kinda problematic
It was super dope, all these things as un nino
And I never grew out of being childish like Gambino

I suppose it’s kinda nice when you stop and take a glance
I can be a responsible adult, who doesn’t crap his pants
10 year old me was fun and optimistic
And I can still be that, if we’re being realistic
Some day I might have kids of my very own and then
When I watch them growing up, I get to enjoy it all again
Track Name: Fragile
[Verse 1: Wrekonize & Bernz]
You said you'd never ever break... down
But here I am sweeping... pieces off of the ground
You said you'd never, ever play... to crowds
But I've seen you hoping to play songs to them now
I've spent all night long scared of tomorrow, I broke my alarm
Everything is almost lost, pick it up slow, before it's gone...

[Hook: Wrekonize & Kendall Morgan]
We’re fragile
(Wish I’d have known)
I never thought I’d be so fragile
(You’re not alone)
If it didn’t break before, it’s about to
(We’ve been here before)
I don’t ever want to change
I’m fragile
I don’t ever want…
I don't ever...

Why do we feel the need to be such mean folks
Why do we feel the need to tell obscene jokes
Ostracizing others, hurting one another
‘cause of who we like, because of our skin color

We have it hard enough getting through the week
and don’t need to hear and more of your damaging hate speech
The hurtful things they said are carried on the web
Echo in our head and take us back a step

No one wants to hear that stuff at all
Broke our legs and left us there to crawl
Looking up at them hiding behind a mask
Hiding in the dark waiting for it to pass

Time won’t heal the wound, sad but true
To make a breakthrough, we have to do
everything we can to make things right
We can do it, but it we can’t overnight

Do they like men, call them gay
Do they have a lot of sex slut shame
Survivor of assault, victim blame
Not a coincidence, it’s all the same

We can change the way we talk, we must
help each other when we fall, wipe the dust
Fix a broken soul when it’s crushed
Lots of us are strong, but at times some are just

(Wish I’d have known)
I never thought I’d be so fragile
(You’re not alone)
If it didn’t break before, it’s about to
(We’ve been here before)
I don’t ever want to change
I’m fragile
I don’t ever want…
I don't ever...


This is for the ones who have no voice
This is for the ones who didn’t have a choice
Took their own lives, could have been fine but no
Couldn’t handle the stress that they had to undergo

People had to go and call them names
Hated who they were, so ashamed
They grabbed a belt and hanged themselves
it was their only way to escape from this hell

Who are the ones that caused all this mess?
Who are the ones that caused us to regress
Wouldn’t be hard for you to take a guess

People who all they want is control
Dominating the lesser is their goal
Taking away the power as all their souls

Sexism, racism cover the globe
Full of trans, bi and homophobes
Hate you cause you’re LGBTQIA
No one should be a monster because of who you date

We bleed the same blood, breath the same air
Please take some action, show us that you care
Help your brothers sisters, Ms. Misses. Misters
He, Ze, She, They please, cause we’re

(Wish I’d have known)
I never thought I’d be so fragile
(You’re not alone)
If it didn’t break before, it’s about to
(We’ve been here before)
I don’t ever want to change
I’m fragile
I don’t ever want…
I don't ever...
Track Name: Carry You
Of all of these tracks, this is the most important one
It’s the tale of proud Mary and her fortunate son
Just a young woman, born and raised in Guadalajara
Who gave her whole life to raise little Brian and Albana

Started out in Cali and then became Eugenians
Then you sent me to school, dressed me in a warm beanie and
When I came home I was your smart little man
It was then you knew, life was going according to plan

The school district thought that I was talented and gifted
Any stress about the future was then suddenly lifted
You knew that I could be successful, I could build you a home
And always be there for you, ma, so you would never be alone

You showered me with joy, introduced me to music
You would buy a new toy, and then show me how to use it
You held me in your arms, and you say to me calmly
That you loved me so much, and I said “I love you too, mommy”

All this time, I didn’t know what to do
All this time, I always looked up to you
And now it’s time that I come through
for my momma, I’ll lift my arms and carry you

But then it all changed, it shattered all our spirit
Henry had his strokes, and life became more different
We never thought twice about daddy’s health issues
But it was only then that the problems would continue

We had financial struggles, all directed at you now
because dad couldn’t work, you had to lift the weight of two now
Others tried to help, turns out they it was just to spite us
None of it was fair to a woman with arthritis

Working hard every day, never stopped to take a rest
All because she wanted her family to have the best
But no, not anymore, cause here I am for you now ma
I’m going to make you happy like the woman baby Brian saw

This isn’t the life you told us that you wanna live
So now I’m here to do my part, Im gonna go out and give
my everything at school, people are counting on me now
Cause that’s what you would do, so get up mom, take a bow


Momma, I’m here, and I wont let you go
I will do all I can to
care for you
be there for you
cause now’s my cue
For me to let you know

Track Name: Blast Off (feat. Gradient)
Back from Minnesota for a minute finna blow the
rap world up and teach everybody a lesson
It’s Gradient and Brian Steveson believe it son
it’s gonna be a really stupid song about best friends
But you better not expect any less than the best
from couple of guys who’ve been tested
By the trials of life and still made it through
but yo Brian, it’s thanks to you
[I’d like to maake a feww points too, homie
Nobody knows me like you know me
You actually get my references
And we finish each other’s] sentences
Yeah everybody knows what the message is
{When we’re on the track, we’re the best there is}
You can bet we can make it sound effortless
Make your head spin around like The Exorcist
Get it? The movie fans will
We make you come to a standstill
The bad guys with crazy words
We’re mad fly like Angry Birds
And we’re gettin’ scarier with the rhymes
{Gonna cast a barrier, Mr. Mime}
When I’m here I’ma rap fast
But then I disappear like a Snapchat

CHORUS [Gradient]
We’re best friends since ‘06
But I bet you didn’t know that we flow sick
Makin’ it very explosive
To keep it entertaining is the motive
So put one hand in the air for us
We appreciate that you’re there for us
I’mma leave y’all with one last thought
Gradient and Brian bout to blast off

Bask in the radiance of Brian and Gradient
Maybe it’s fate, didn’t wanna make you wait again
Thanks for being patient, {don’t think we’re complacent
People like our raps}, we admire that amazement

{Hear what we got, it’s gonna get messy}
We got better chemistry than Walter White and Jesse
Hope you’re all set, {cause we’ve started already
We rock and roll} we break the levee
Rhymes like Snorlax, cause they’re heavy

{Listen to the wordplay that we brought ya}
Spice up the track like a train of Sriracha

{Keepin’ it so hot ‘n humid on the track
And we’re fun like Robot Unicorn Attack
The heavyweight belt is what we’re seeking}
And frankly speaking

Track Name: Memories
Playing games of ultimate frisbee and dressing up as bananas
Using promo videos for school events, until they couldn’t stand us
Throwing up before senior prom and peeing in the sand
All those parties we had, jumping over fire in our underpants

Memories make me want to go back there, back there
Memories make me want to go back there, back there
Memories, how can we make it back there, back there
I want to be there again

History of Karaoke and sleeping out in the grass
Rocking out to Pinball Wizard in the middle of history class
Raising money for the babies and the summer of 2010
Dressing up as gnomes, cross country,oh I wanna do it all again.
Now I’ve got so many people that I’ve got to look out for
So much fun things the past, now let’s see what future’s in store
I have nights of nostalgia more times than I think I should
But who cares it’s my life, and the memories just feel so good